Let’s Talk About FRIENDors:
The Real MVPs of the Wedding Industry
by Holly Gray (Southern California Chapter)
CEO of Anything But Gray Events
and WIPA National Director of Membership Retention
National Friendship Day isn’t just for your childhood besties or that barista who knows your coffee order better than your partner. In the wedding industry, friendship shows up in a very different and powerful way. We call them FRIENDors. The industry professionals who aren’t just your coworkers on wedding day, but your lifelines. Your behind-the-scenes heroes. Your fellow dream chasers who ride shotgun on this chaotic, beautiful journey.
When I started in this business 15 years ago, I came from the corporate world — a land of HR manuals, onboarding checklists, and passive-aggressive Post-Its about fridge etiquette. There was structure. There was routine. There were water coolers (both literal and conversational).
Entrepreneurship? Let’s just say it’s… different.
That’s building your own water cooler out of reclaimed wood while YouTubing “how to make an invoice that won’t make me cry.” There’s no playbook. No barrier to entry. It can feel like the wild west, with linen and lace. Just grit, grace, lots of caffeine, and the occasional meltdown in your car between venue walkthroughs or client calls.
Which is exactly why finding your people — your “FRIENDors” — is everything.
These are the vendors who show up early, stay late, haul chairs in heels, and always seem to have snacks, scissors, and mimosas on standby. They lend a hand when it’s not “their job.” They lift you up when you’ve hit your limit. They clap the loudest when your work gets published and sit silently with you when things fall apart.
“Having ‘friendors’ in this industry isn’t just a bonus, it’s a lifeline. These are the people who catch curveballs mid-event, lend a hand without being asked, and know when to step in or step back. We’re not just collaborating on an entire event scope; we’re co-creating experiences. When you find those few you can trust in the trenches and toast with afterward, that’s when the work starts to feel like a calling. That’s the power of community.”
— DJ Dazzler, WIPA SoCal Secretary
To me, “friendor” isn’t just a cute mashup word; it’s a survival strategy. It’s community over competition. It’s choosing collaboration instead of comparison. It’s building big dreams with people who understand the unique beauty (and bananas-level stress) of our industry.
Especially as a woman in this field, I’ve found something truly rare. In a world that often pushes women to compete, be catty, or climb over each other, the wedding industry, predominantly female-driven, has been a rare and beautiful gem. It’s a space where we lift each other up, offer advice freely, and root for one another’s success. And honestly? That’s revolutionary.
But if I’m being honest, it didn’t start that way for me.
I remember my very first industry networking event. I bought a new dress. I drove for over an hour. I was excited, hopeful, even, to meet “my people.” But no one welcomed me. No one asked my name. I stood awkwardly, holding an underseasoned appetizer, trying to look busy. And then I drove home in traffic feeling smaller than when I arrived.
That feeling of otherness? It stuck with me. And it lit a fire in me.
I never wanted anyone to feel like that at a networking event, especially not at WIPA. That’s why getting involved became more than just a professional goal; it became personal. Membership turned into a mission. Because becoming part of a community should feel like coming home: safe, welcomed, and loved. And that’s exactly what this industry has become for me.
“Community over competition isn’t just a feel-good motto—it’s the secret sauce to success in this wild world of “I Do’s.”
— Alan Katz, Great Officiants, WIPA SoCal
Of course, these relationships don’t happen by accident. They start with something small and powerful: networking. That word can make some people sweat — I get it. But networking is the first step to building a genuine connection. It’s how ‘friendors are made. It’s where community begins.
I’ll be speaking on this exact topic at Wedding MBA in Las Vegas, November 10–12, 2025, about how networking for business is really just adult preschool with a better wardrobe and Pinot Grigio. If you’re attending, come say hi! And WIPA members, don’t forget to use promo code “WIPA” for discounted tickets.
“In our industry, you build your community, most often, during an event. Friendships forged in the fire of creating something magical, all under pressure, dodging obstacles, solving problems, truly working together. Having groups, such as WIPA, however, gives everyone an additional space for that friendship to expand. The friendly face you might see across the room–remembering how you survived something grueling together–but finally having the opportunity to reminisce, connect, and grow as you get to know one another outside of the confines of an event day. Building these types of friendships is essential to both your business and personal well-being. Business-wise, you are developing a network of professionals you know can work well with, trust, learn and rely on to get the job done well; on a personal level, it is nice to have others that can sympathize with the demands of our jobs, our clients or those that can be a mirror in understanding how and why we do what we do. And when you have the true merger of both–the true “friendor”–you’ll ultimately find yourself in the best position to become for you, yourself to become a better vendor, friend, and collaborator.”
— Emma Seitz, Leta Verbena, WIPA SoCal
So, on this National Friendship Day, I raise a glass (of bubbly, cold brew, or electrolyte water) to the people who make this journey not just manageable, but meaningful.
Want to go fast? Go alone. Want to go far? Go together.
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